| I was born in Russia, in Leningrad (now St. Petersburg) in 1960. From a very young age I knew that I was Jewish and sensed that this was not something to boast about. I experienced much ill will concerning my Jewishness at school, especially when the teacher was deliberately inquiring about this in class. At times, when I would have arguments with other kids they would say: "You, Jew, go to your Israel". From an early age I hated hearing about Israel, perhaps because of the constant propaganda against it in the media.
Actually, I just wanted to be like everybody else, a normal Russian girl.
My parents were totally secular. No one ever talked to me about God, and my only knowledge of Him came from books or pictures that I had seen in museums.
At the time of my birth, Russia was still communist; there were 'no churches' and 'no believers'. My parents were poor and much of the time there were arguments between them on money issues and also they did not stick to moral values.
With my marriage, I thought I would live according to higher moral values, but nothing changed. After two years of marriage, my husband and I were no longer faithful to one another. I was lying nonstop and never felt remorse. This was my lifestyle: partying, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, telling dirty jokes, watching pornography films etc.
In 1989 we seriously started to think about leaving Russia for the USA. At that time it was a big sensation if someone left the country.
Only Jews were permitted to do this, because of international agreements (The Right of Return), and those who left were considered traitors.
We received permission pretty quickly and then started to prepare everything for our departure, knowing that our lives would never be the same again. We knew that we were going to start a new life in a new place, acquire new friends, a new language, new values, new jobs and even a new mentality. It was not an easy time for either of us.
The government made us pay a 500 rubles penalty (the average wage at that time was 120-140 rubles per month) because of our "bad behavior".
They took away our Russian passports since we were no longer considered citizens of Russia; instead they gave us a piece of paper with our picture glued on it. On it was written our names and dates of birth and that we were Jews. This was the only I.D. we had.
The Russian government was "very generous" in permitting us to take with us $147 per person, so this was the only money we had when we left Russia.
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